Family


Been thinking alot about why? The life we have is not always the life we want. What happened to make it that way? No matter how I dissect my life, I can not for the life of me figure out why? I accept the way I was raised, I had a wonderful childhood, puberty sucked, and a few bad things happened during that time, but I weathered it. Why don't I have the drive to be somebody? I want to , but I guess I don't know the directions on how to get there anymore, and I never read the directions.I have attainable goals, and I don't mind hard work, I have worked hard all my life, right now, I have the time to do great things, Okay, I don't feel good 99% of the time. But I push through that, I know I am not stupid, I am not lazy. Why don't I have a fire in me hot enough to get out and be somebody?I have confidence in myself, or do I? Coming back to this area after so many years, it has not been a welcoming experience. I have tried to be friends with those from the past, it did not work, I put myself out there, and have been left hanging. Maybe everything I do outside my home is done in anger and that is why nothing is getting accomplished. As long as I stay home, I am happy, I don't even like to answer the phone any more. Unless Grand Marais calls. Then it is answered. I digress.... So again I am lost in my world, things are getting out of my control, and I am digging in like nothing can hurt me. So, now I don't know how to fix this problem.

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