When people blog, do they think out the bla bla bla before they start writing, or do they just sit at the keyboard and let it rip? Maybe I should take the time to read a few different types of blogs to help me out. I read a few gardening blogs, and have a few good ones e-mailed to me, which i usually delete. I guess if i want to get better at this, i need to do my research. And do I need to focus my blog on one theme? Or, I guess I will do it as I live my life in chapters. Now I just have to make each day a paragraph in that chapter. Yea, that' s it!!! Paragraphs in my chapters. Too bad most of the paragraphs will be pretty boring. And sometimes it is not that pleasant. But if any one ever besides me reads this, realize that I do know how good my life is, I always have all the basics. But sometimes my brain does not connect with reality. And I slip into the shadows. Like now. And i fight really hard everyday to keep living. It's become more of a habit than anything else. Depression is a really bitchy thing for me to fight with, and right now i am getting pretty worn out from it. I don't know what is worse, my physical health right now or my overwhelming feeling of melancholy. I guess it really doesn't matter.

A sunnier little excerpt... My walk around the garden today was full of surprises. Things are really starting to fruit really good! I need to read about pumpkins, first time growing them, and i need to know how fruits a plant can handle? If we don't have an early frost, I will have allot to harvest late. That garden has kept me alive, and making plans for the next phase of it will keep me going longer. If I only had the energy to get my garden project off and running, it bothers me so much that i have not pursued it . At least i am still thinking of it. I left things for tomorrow, laundry, errands, mowing. A little rain would be helpful! But The heat of the sun will really give the garden a boost, and I think after I mow, I might fertilize. With the wind, everything dries up so fast, and i need more flowers on my Roma's. But, it still makes me happy to see what i did accomplish back there. So, i end this on a good note.

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