Dreams of a Victory Garden... Again

Another day.... Feeling a bit blah today, worse than usual. No sun to force me to be a human. A bit of self -pity. I don't do that often. At Meg's grad party , everyone is asking how am I doing? Everything is a lie. Just not going to go over it all again. I feel like shit every minute of the day. That is how I am really doing. The strokes are starting to leave a bit of nerve damage. And with everything else pain is a bitch. But life goes on....
Been thinking about a community garden again, got all my drafts out, think I will re-do it for shits and giggles. The thing is , this idea always gets my attention when I am feeling a bit blah. But the more research I do, the grander my idea gets, and now my head is filled with a vision that is attainable. If I could do this, it might give Cloquet a big kick into the future. 
I see at least 40 garden plots in that space, beautiful flowers separating the space from Veterans Park. What a better place to have a Victory Garden! And eventually a Green house, classes for kids, programs for the elderly. It is all planned out. Just have to go to the city. That is where it all goes to hell. I don't have the temperament to deal with people in Government. The word FOOL comes up way to often, and I know I made terrible pre-judgement s. I need to get my buddy to do that kind of stuff. See, I can't do this ,and get all my other crap done....Loosing interest in things already.... I have yet to make a pillow, a garden book, start a mosaic project, I don't like the secret keepers yet.
Blame it all on not seeing the sun for a week! But I did almost stop smoking...I mooch one cigarette in the early evening from upstairs. And that is it!!!! I think I can do it this time, I am going to do it! I have done it!

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